“What does she think of herself? Who does she think she is? I’m so full now that my cup runs over”
Oprah Winfrey.
Those were some of the disparaging remarks that talkshow goddess Oprah Winfrey had to deal with for being herself, being confident, brave, courageous, firm, productive, progressive, powerful and very influential. She’s more, just name it. Oprah Winfrey sure deserves all the accolades to her name even as the “most influential” and “most powerful black woman living”. Yes she’s worth that honour for every cent to her name, in every manner she enjoys the attention, for every impact from her brand, for every influence she’s got, for purpose fulfilled in her life, for every power she exerts, and confidence she exudes, through her being, as “Oprah Winfrey”.
Can you relate to the above remarks and bashing she’s got to deal with from haters who should have been loving, appreciating and praising her for all her positive impacts on humanity? It echoes that way everywhere – that culture of hate and envy from being confident of oneself. It’s a terrain most of us are familiar with, I mean, you get hated for being confident and for expressing yourself in a manner that is consistent with your nature as a very confident person, and as you exude the confidence, joy, happiness and peace that you feel within you, which comes from a deep sense of contentment and self satisfaction, you could get hated for it as if you are hurting people for being your natural, confident self. Somehow I think it reminds the haters of their limitations and imperfections, that they cannot be like you – CONFIDENT.
Well, like I tell those who care to listen, the sexiest, most attractive and attributive character, emotion, or signature anyone can carry, wear or display is CONFIDENCE. When you are hit with adversity, confidence helps you cope better, it fortifies you with strength and courage to endure, then it helps you act better without wearing your challenges on your face for all to see, knowing that all is well that ends well. When you have confidence, you rule your world in many ways. However, try not to intimidate any with your confidence, just stay confident always.
Like they say, one without confidence is like a sinking sand. Confidence makes you not to see competition, it helps you cultivate self love, it makes you become more attractive, less anxious and more appreciative of others for even the simplest acts of accomplishments, courage and kindness that they display towards us.
CONFIDENCE smells fresh. It attracts the right persons to us. It births other positive emotions like gratitude and peace within us. So when your confidence hurts them because you are happy, real, friendly and very passionate about you, it’s non of your business.
If your confidence doesn’t carry any act or element of spite, hate and vendetta with it, you have nothing you owe anyone for being confident. It’s simply self love manifesting in you when you are a confident person. It’s a definition of self worth to exude confidence. It means, I’m cool with or without your validation. It means am on top of my business and I run that business as I will. It’s interpreted to mean that am not dealing with myself the primitive way of displaying subservience, especially when you are a woman of colour. It means I’m very happy in my own skin. It means affection for myself, by myself and for myself – The CONFIDENT way.
What is more to project when you are confident? It’s infectious and manifests in all we do. It’s not what one can throw under the sheets or table or leave behind when going out, it sticks with you wherever you are seen. It’s undoubtedly one of those few traits that follows us everywhere we go.
If you are a confident person. You are cool. You are positive in approach. You smile always. You bond with all freely, because you are happy being you. You infect others with that happiness from within because happiness is the reward for confidence, and a happy person is never hidden, when he or she walks into a gathering, that person is easily spotted for the happiness and confidence that they display. It’s always an emotion that cannot hide, and even when you don’t speak verbally, your confidence speaks through you.
Today, I urge us all to cultivate and nourish that emotion that transforms, elevates and celebrates us – confidence, and when we have it, we have the world, because there’s no one or no place you cannot access when you have confidence. This shows up in our homes, schools, businesses, relationships, associations, and in any environment we find ourselves in. So endeavour to wear confidence as a glowing apparel wherever you go. Don’t fake it, cultivate and grow it, confidence is a culture, embrace it to win always.
With love always,
Karifest Duchess Onyekaah
Advocate + Entrepreneur+ Humanitarian + Communicator.